sulk

i really don't wanna talk about it.. i just hope for a miracle, that's all. at least i don't feel hopeless yet. i thought i did enough.. i guess i thought wrong...

please stay with me.. you came in, you made me smile, you made me laugh and you touched my heart.. so please stay.. stay because you make me happy.. stay because i love you.. stay if you trust and love me too...

silence : noise

what comes with silence? silence helps you think. helps people relax. it helps people go back to their rhythm after an all days work or stress. what comes with silence? it makes people cry out alone, in the dark, cold and weak.. it forces people to go back to reality and feel every inch of suffering or pain. somehow.. silence gives people a taste of both worlds...

what comes with noise? noise helps you forget. helps in diverting attention. it helps people be merry for while. what comes with noise? noise eats you up inside. noise make people think they can rejoice for a moment and they suddenly silence comes barging in...

i don't know what is better. i don't have a choice at all. silence and noise never part each other. add 'em up and you'll get emptiness.

losing someone's trust is unbearable especially if you've done nothing wrong

my stomach feels weird.. all of a sudden i feel this pain.. this emptiness.. i want to scream and cry and clear myself out but my voice wouldn't be heard.. i know he wont listen to anything i say.. i've never had any say.. never.. my chest feels like it's about to blow up.. i wanna cry.. i didn't do anything.. i swear.. i can't fucking breathe properly.. my heart feels like it's racing with a horse.. how could i do something like that.. i would never do something to lose your trust.. i can never betray you.. i am so freakin' hurt.. to think that you said those words to me.. i feel so much of a trash..

i never said anything to anyone.. and i'm not making things up.. i never thought i'd feel these feelings again that are the same as an accused person who is innocent. can anyone please talk to me.. i need someone right now...

damn it.. i'll probably lose my life.

tagboard

well i just posted to say that my old tagboard is up and i didn't delete my old messages there. it's from my old site which was just made as a school requirement. and so.. i'm gonna use it here from now on. feel free to leave me messages. :]

anticipation + stress = anxiety

lol. it's not that i'm in a bad mood. i just wanna get those pictures from the vacation asap. hehe. i don't have a camera phone so bear with me. its still cool though. phones nowadays change every so often.. i don't need to go chasing technology. i have SETH. Chee and i have SETH. :) i miss you Chee. i love you. :x

new bg and banner yay!

well.. i told you i was gonna make one myself. and here it is! heh.. took me quite a while since i was only doodling over GIMP. and this is the product. lol. i kinda let everything go on and voila! (did i spell that one right? anyway this is the internet! who cares! XD)

i will be posting on some pictures about the trip i had just seven days ago with my mom, my eldest sister and her daughter. and i know you're all wondering how could we afford one, ey? well.. if you must know..... it was an "all expense paid trip", okay? and i meant that one literally. every letter of it. lol. it does feel pretty cool.

"i love you shee..."

To: Chee (my "H")
By: Shee (your "W")

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



"I Will Never"
~~~~~~~~~~~

i will never get tired of you..
your face.. your smile..
your entirety..

i will never forsake you..
your touch.. your kiss..
your warm embrace..

i will never regret you..
your heart.. your love..
your soul in me..

and i will never stop..
my heart.. my love..
my soul in you...



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*note
this is an original i made on the spot and is a product of what i feel for him. please do not copy or post it as your own in any way (graphics or anything thinkable). at least put a credit on me or something. please do respect.. i'm saying this because what i just wrote will forever be intended only for him. i thank anyone who reads this part.. and to those who understand.

in their eyes, they see me wrong

recently, there had been an incident in which i am the only one that is to blame. i admit it. i wanted it to happen. but i honestly planned to leave the place but for some reason i ended up staying longer than i anticipated.

i wanna say sorry to my "H".. for putting him on the line. you had nothing to do with any of it. i chose to be there and i know you thought of my welfare. no matter how many times i get in this kind of situation i know, you'll always be by my side. thank you...

you are the only person i trust my life to. nobody can tear us apart.. not even the people whom i love too. having you by my side for so long, in return i shall stay happy and remind myself how much strength you have given me. please remain forever with me. watashiwa hontoni aishiteruyo.

feeling sad-ish :[

my best friend since only God knows when is about to leave the country next week tuesday. of course i feel sad! she like makes me laugh every time we're together. i know it'll be just a couple of months but argh.. i will miss you girl.. you crazy being! come back whole and don't you loose any ligaments! :<