pretending hurts ---> me

i never intended to make you feel left behind.. i never really did like being away from you.. in fact, i always wanna be with you.. you know that. and you should! unless you forgot about those times when i always tell you how i feel about you.. about us.. until i felt like you got sick of hearing the things i always say.. i hate pretending to be strong, you know.. i keep on telling myself not to be clingy anymore.. well, i want to! because that is who i am. i want to be always by your side. is that so wrong? i really really love you so much... i wanna tell you the reason why i force myself to keep my distance.. and it's because i'm scared of you losing interest in me.. honestly, i even got a little hurt when i asked you, "why are you doing that?", and you said, "because, i have nothing to do." as if i wasn't there for you to talk to.. and i never made a big deal out of it. i never do. i just try to forget it, you know.. whenever i get really mad or hurt, there is only one thing i ask myself.. "can i live without him and will i enjoy living without him?" and i always get a no from my heart. i cannot live and i will not be able to enjoy life without you. i want this pretending to end! i wanna be with you so close.. and walk with you by my side.. i want to love you like i used to... and that is by giving everything that i can for you. i love you so much Chee.. i'm sorry...

talk about being sick

physically of course.. i've been sick for how many days now.. 6 to be exact! and good thing i'm in the process of recovery.. haii.. today's weather was wonderfuly awful. i hate the heat. :/ well i just posted to write random things.. i wanna watch that Li-Chan movie! i want to be okay.. :c i feel sick just looking at those dishes.. but then again.. here i come. *sob*